Family Testimonies.

A Mother’s Story.

My name is Awilda Vega and I am from Puerto Rico. I am a mother of 5; 3 girls and two boys. One of my boys is not my biological son, but I love him as much I do my other kids.

My biological son, Juan, was the one that made me cry the most. Juan was a smart kid, very talented and lovable. As a single mother, provider, and Christian, I had my hands full with all of them. I was very responsible with my kids, and I knew that the most important role as a mother was to expose my kids to God, and to reinforce what the Bible says. That is why I involved my family in all church activities, read the Bible and had a daily devotional with them.  

In 1989, when Juan Orlando was 12 years old, we moved from Puerto Rico to Connecticut. I found a church where I raised them, and everything was fine until Juan reached adolescence. He started acting up, and turned into a class clown. I was a teacher, so everyone knew my son. For Juan, being the son of a teacher was very frustrating – my name followed him everywhere he went. At church I was a leader too; so everyone expected excellent behavior from Juan just because he was my son.

He started to smoke cigarettes and marijuana in high school. When he was 19 years old he quit college, started to work, and he fell in love with the pastor’s daughter; a relationship that I liked.

One day I received an anonymous tip that he was using drugs. The same day, the mother of one of my students came to my classroom to tell me that she had seen him buying drugs with the pastor’s daughter. I knew that I had to take him away from everyone that was facilitating his addiction, and that included his girlfriend. I went through an emotional crisis because I had to face the fact that “I had a drug addict in my home.”  My Lord, that was very painful. My self-esteem as a mother went down the drain. I started to blame myself. I was always asking myself, “What did I do wrong”.

I sent Juan to live with different family members in different states, but Juan always found his way back to Connecticut. Juan met with his old girlfriend again and got back into drugs.

One summer I decided to retreat, because my soul was very weak. I was so exhausted that I knew that the only thing to do was to get away with God. I fasted and prayed. I was crying out, and I asked God, “Why are you not answering my prayers? Where is the promise you gave me, “You and your house will be saved”? God didn’t delay His answer, when He said to me, “I can’t do it because you don’t let me, you are in my way, leave him to me and stop trying to help me.”

I always thought that it was my responsibility to take my son out of his addiction. I saw myself doing things for God. I thought I was doing the right thing being my son’s guardian. I asked God for forgiveness, and since then, I didn’t lift a finger for Juan. Even my way of praying for my son changed. I began to thank God for what he did to him, what he was doing, and what he will do. I decided to occupy myself with improving my relationship with God. I even told God that I was giving my son to Him, for better or worse, to save or to perish, as He willed. I just asked God to let me witness what He had in store for my son before I died.

After months more of prayer, Juan decided to enroll in a program (as he had so many times before) “Helping Hands,” an induction center feeding graduates to the Adult & Teen Challenge program in Rehrersburg, PA. While he was there God restored him and Juan rededicated his life back to Christ. When he completed the program he began working with Adult & Teen Challenge in Baltimore, to give back to others what he got from God.

My kids learned to put the pain behind, and learned to trust Him. My faith got stronger, and I learned that no matter how smart I am, only God can do the miracles He does - to change a life for good.  

A Wife’s Story.

As a little girl, I, like many little girls, dreamed of the day I would find my prince charming, we would marry have 2 children and live happily ever after. Never in a million years did I believe the first year of my marriage would be the hardest year of my life. My husband and I were each other’s first boyfriend and girlfriend when we were 12 years old, for a brief 3 months. He was also my first kiss. We met in church as kids and grew up together until we graduated high school. He left church and was engaged to a friend of mine, however, I continued going to the same church with his mother so I always knew what he was up to. I had heard from his mother’s prayer requests, he had been struggling with addiction to drugs and had to go into rehab but I still did not know nor did I understand the severity of his addiction.

In 2010, nine years after our high school graduation, Howard and I reconnected on Facebook. He requested to be my friend on and we started chatting back and forth on messenger catching up on our lives over the last 10 years or so. He told me he had gone to Teen Challenge, and actually had just graduated the program. He decided to stay in the extended training program for an additional 6 months. When his extended training program was over he decided to move near me in Maryland and we began dating. Three months later we were engaged and 11 months after our engagement we were married.

It was a fast engagement. After being engaged for a few months, I started to see some inconsistencies in his behavior. I found drug paraphernalia in his apartment, he would nod out or be swerving while driving. He would make up lies about what it was and I wanted so badly to believe him but deep down I knew what I saw, but I loved him. I defended him to other people who also saw his behaviors. People called me stupid and put me down for defending him. It felt like the people I loved and needed support from the most, suddenly turned their backs on me. His family also tried to tell me what I was getting into, but I continued to defend his actions. There was just something in him that I saw was different. I felt like I could see past the addiction and see the man he really was and the man I knew he could be.

Four months before our wedding I came over to his house after work and found him in his bathroom passed out with a belt wrapped around his arm, a spoon with burn marks and a needle in his arm, sadly, an image burned into my mind. I was devastated. I was beside myself. I wanted to throw up. Until this point, it was all speculation from observations. Now, it was real. There was no denying it anymore. No way to defend him and no way to just move on as if nothing happened. I woke him up and told him I was done. I was going to cancel the wedding and walk away. He begged me not to and I told him I had to leave. The next day I drove over an hour away to meet up with my best friend in PA. On the way to her house another friend text me and told me I was on her mind and she sent me a scripture found in Jeremiah 29:11 “for I know the thoughts and plans for you, says the Lord. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” On the way to my friends house a billboard read “For I know my thoughts toward you...” ~God. When I arrived at her home, her pastor was there and he quoted Jeremiah 29:11. I kept thinking why is this scripture coming up so much? It didn’t dawn on me at the time but later I knew it was God reminding me He was with me and knows my future. After my friend’s pastor left we decided to go to Starbucks (my happy place). At this point I am a mess. I feel like my entire world is falling apart. While we were in her car driving I said to my friend “I just don’t know what to do. Should I marry him?” At that very moment, a car pulled out in front of us on the back window it read “Marriage YES.” Both of us just looked at each other and my friend said “well, I think you have your answer.” When we looked back up the car was gone. I had never had an actual sign from God like that before. We could feel the holy spirit in the car with us. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so thick. Honestly, I don’t know if I would have believed it if my friend wasn’t there. We both talk about it to this day. It was this moment that held me and kept me committed to my husband when I wanted to give up.

Life got harder after this. On Christmas day, he got high and his van fell into a 6 ft ditch, just 2 weeks before our wedding. Less than 2 months after the wedding, he was arrested for driving under the influence. Two months after that he was arrested again, this time because he had caused an accident for driving under the influence. When I was on my way to pick him up from jail I can remember being so angry. I wanted to know exactly what had happened and why. Then God so clearly told me just to offer to make him dinner. God asked me “If you know what happened is it going to make things better or worse?” I had to decide in that moment if I was going to be obedient or prideful. Am I going to obey God or please my pride? I was obedient and offered to make him dinner. I made Steak, mashed potatoes and green beans. We had to obtain a lawyer and the decision was made to send him back to Adult & Teen Challenge for restoration.

In the first year of our marriage, in 2012, we spent 90 days apart. I remember praying and crying to God. I remember yelling at God saying “God I DON”T TRUST HIM!” God said, in such a calm voice, “I didn’t ask you to trust him, I asked you to trust Me.” This answer threw me off and humbled me. I realized this is not about how all of this makes me feel. I had to submit to my pride and surrender my selfishness. I had to grow and learn how to be self-less and to see my Husband the way God sees him. I had to learn to be his helpmate. I had to learn to support him, love him, submit my pride and learn to work with him and not against him. When we married we became a team. I had to be a team player without being an enabler. While he was away I had to learn to change my mentality and my actions. I spent more time with God then I ever had before. I didn’t want for Howard to work on himself and change while he was away and waste the time God had given me to allow Him to change me into the wife Howard needed. I didn’t just sit back and wait for him to change. I decided I wanted to be the best wife for him I could be.

When Howard came home, things were great for a while, over a year. He never returned to drugs, however, he had convinced himself it was ok to drink alcohol. He could never just have one. One became two and two became four etc. Then he would drive. Once again he was arrested in 2016 for driving under the influence. This time he was looking at jail time. A lawyer was again obtained and the decision was made to send him again to Adult & Teen Challenge for restoration. This time he went for 120 days. I once again asked God to change me. Grow me even deeper to be what Howard needed. However, this time, something changed in him. He saw me as not just his wife. He saw me as his helpmate and now he wanted to become mine. He began to see himself differently. He began to see himself how God sees him. He told me when I asked him about dinner, the time I picked him up from jail, it threw him off. It humbled him. While away for the 120 days he now was allowing God to change him.

When I married him I knew he struggled with addiction. I knew it was going to be a hard ride. I knew relapse is a part of recovery. But, I knew I could face it as long as I had God by my side. God never left me, He never left me feeling alone. Even when I physically felt alone, he was there. His word and His staff they strengthened and comforted me. I had to be open and willing to see Howard the way God sees him and not what I was seeing. I had to look beyond his actions and believe in him. I would speak words of encouragement even when I saw defeat. I spoke into him the identity God sees in him. God taught me to stop having expectations of what I wanted but to pray God’s word and vision over his life and speak into Him those things. Sometimes we, as wives, speak out of anger or out of what we see. I had to speak what I wanted to see as if it was already there. I told Howard how much I believed in him, that he was a man of integrity and character, a man that seeks after God’s heart. God showed me that I could be his greatest strength or His greatest weakness. I never wanted to be his weakness. I wanted to hold his arms up during the battle and not kicking him while he was down. I had to CHOSE to love him even when I didn’t feel it and even when I didn’t see any reason that he deserved my love. I had to CHOSE to be obedient. It DID NOT come easy but I hoped it would all be worth it.

Now on the other side of it, it was ALL worth it. Knowing what we’ve been through and where we are today, I would do it all over again. My husband know’s he can trust me. He knows I will never leave him. He knows I have his back. He knows I will be on his side, on his team. We are one. We still argue and have our disagreements, but we work together as a team. We have an amazing relationship. We now have two baby girls less than one year apart. I am so very proud of him. He is an amazing father and has so much more to live for now. We both share a relationship with Christ and seek Him first. As we grow closer to Christ we grow closer together. I am so glad I didn’t give up when I wanted to. I’m So glad I trusted God and very thankful for the work that God has done through Adult & Teen Challenge.